Breathe

Mark shared with my this video from his archives and i found it on youtube. it's BRILLIANT!!!!!



there are other versions of the same song, different mtv, one a church wedding, and another developed for swatch (the watch brand). if i find it i'll post it up, they are damn good too...

Final Fantasy

Someone described this shot as something from Final Fantasy. maybe... so what do you think?



clickable.

Shervon

This is possibly the first post i have used one of my friends' names as title!

Had a wonderful fish head curry with her tonight, we ate at around 10pm after delivering some photos to dennis (if you consider 1000++ photos "some"). it's now 5+ am and i'm feeling just a tad hungry, not bad, it lasted a while, i did eat ALOT tho!

I remember when I was hung up over cheryl when i first got back at the end of 2001. shervon found me my first job in singapore even BEFORE i returned from australia. heart broken, in a "foreign-familiar" place, new job, new life, i was totally beaten. my break up with her was chronically acute. shervon was one of the few that helped me recover. those overnight phone calls, then reach work the next morning (we were colleagues then) stone like shit... ahhaha, then lunch time she would ask me, what do you want for lunch? i said "happiness", and she said, downstairs sold out liow, anything else u want? and this is like our daily ritual, this conversation. such wonderful memories amongst tough times.

i remember she was going thru shit too, i think it was Nat. so two lonely pple having a shit time and making each other worse by chatting on the phone but not sleeping. ahhaha....

then after that we both quit our jobs and partnered to do graphic design and print services. had our office, had an opening ceremony invite pple come and eat catered food somemore. we were BOSSES. man, if i start talking about that period in our lives, u would be bored, so, suffice to say, it was ALSO a memorable time in my life.

btw, if u haven't already figured it out, the business failed, badly, i might add, but the friendship grew stronger!

after the business, we didn't really see each other all that much, i went to work in banks, and she went to job hop (still doing that now mauahahhaa) then i turned full time photog and even busier, didn't see her much at all, sometimes months at a time.

tonight i realised that our friendship is still strong. she is ever supporting and encouraging in whatever i do, and has a level head that enables her to trudge thru this world with amazing resilience. she has this "quiet strength" that perhaps even she herself doesn't realise. it's been this strength that's not all that visible, but certainly the basis of our friendship over the years. anyone that knows me well knows that i'm not the best "glue" when it comes to friends, i can get a little apathetic at times.

shervon, this is for you. altho i dun say it much, or at all, u are a great pal and i wish the best for you. i'm still looking for that "happiness for lunch" and when i do get it, rest assured that you will certainly be a big part of it. i'm also wishing sincerely for your happiness, maybe u can have it for dinner instead!

take care always, and feel free to use all the "credits" that has accumulated over all these years being an excellent friend!

*hugZZZZ*

Third entry today?

better make this fast, i have a shoot tomorrow.. promises to be really fun, i hope!

i am waiting for a few things to happen. and it's taking TOO LONG to materialise. of course it requres effort too, but still i'm not a very patient person when it comes to... well.. watever, i'm just impatient!

i would like to list all the stuff that's pending, in the pipeline or just plain in my head, but then i did say i have to make this a fast one.. so.. laterz~!

All I Wanna do is Make Love to You

Jas brought to my attn an old favourite of mine (thanx!!)



In case anyone wonders, i'm in no way advocating one night stands, but the lyrics are very clever. excellent rock ballad from ages ago, u can tell from what they are wearing!!

A love letter

Something that I remembered recently when looking for quotes on the net, i loved it so much when i watched the movie that i wrote it down and stored it in a txt file, now dunno where it is liow, but it's available online.

My Dearest Jocelyn,

It is strange to think, I haven't seen you since a month. I have seen the new moon, but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face.

The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle. I miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct its light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to.

I next compete in the city of Paris, I will find it empty and in the winter if you are not there. Hope guides me, that is what gets me through the day and the night. The hope that after you're gone from my sight, it will not be the last time that I look upon you.

William Thatcher / A Knight's Tale

One man show...

yeah man.. feeling the weight....!

I'm dying... part 2

the title says it all... AGAIN.

i'll try to write a bit more tho...

had a nice unplanned session with mark (he left early) gerry and charles today talking about teaching photography all the way to being a sound man (i guess they are "related" still about "multimedia" in a way). Was just supposed to deliver a CD to him (Mark), then he said he was meeting the guys so i joined in, and 5 hours later, i'm posting in my blog. i always say, u can't really plan life.

altho i do remember one thing mark said two nites back after the Clarin's shoot having dinner. Once you're married and with a family you wouldn't be here. priorities change and you'd probabaly go straight home and have dinner with your family. i agree. the more poignant statement was: your life is not yours anymore, priorities change.

not that i have experienced it, but it's true, and so it should! while initially it feels like you're being robbed of your own life, but i subscribe to the thinking that life isn't complete until you have someone to share it with, and at some stage, offspring from that wonderful relationship. i did frown at that part though, not because i don't wanna have kids, but becos of the society they would grow up in. it would be such a joy having children, but such a frightful task bringing them up. not so much in the physical way, but in this society that is so different from the one i was brought up in. i guess there's no point speculating about it now, i'm sure the time will come for me to have the courage to bring life to this world. in a way, i view today's environment as detrimental to the nurturing of a human being, and the only reason why i am doing well is becos i am already an adult. pessimistic? i dunno, it doesn't matter wat the terminology is, i guess.

and why am i talking about this when it's not a constant thought in my mind? (contrary to my description of this blog : seeking wife, i don't think about it all that much) i don't know, becos the thing that's been constantly on my mind is how i would further my career. in all aspects, business-wise and artistic-wise, but recently it's more on the business wise. a new website is to be up, and as mentioned above, would consider going into teaching since there are real opportunities (basically if i said yes, i would start teaching almost straight away that kind of thing, if you're wondering what, photography lar, what else?!?!). plenty of projects to embark on, culminating in a new website for a more commercial approach to photography, leading to income generated to fund a studio in 2008. Rosey is coming soon (i hope!!!) and will be looking forward to working with her with numerous fashion/people type shoots. weddings will be on-going, shooting less with higher rates; i am trying to find ways to get myself shooting overseas for weddings, and i MAY start travelling to experience (and shoot) cultures different to my own. one problem there, i hate travelling alone, so i'm not sure how that'll work.

so many things to do, so little time, energy. i'm glad tho, there will be a neverending list of projects, improvements, refinements to do, and this i believe is due to passion and dedication. these nouns only existed in my life not too many years ago. it feels great to have a purpose, but not so great to not be able to fulfill them because of inadequacy. laziness, poor planning, lack of foresight, etc.

so much for dying, still can tok so much cock.

on an ending note:

MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM!!!!

man i almost died when i heard it. hurt myself pretty badly too.

Sydney - in shadows, and others...

it was a BRIGHT CLEAR DAY and look how the images turned out. =)

the power of imagination, (or watever other big word u fancy):



















larger and more images here.

double edged sword

have i used that as a title b4 in this blog?

anywayz.. recently i had this feeling (no offence to all couples and pple that i've photographed), that ALL my photos suck.

ever feel that way? u pour everything in, and stand back and see that u've made a mess of the floor.

the flip side is, u will wanna keep pouring, and hope you make less mess, but first, clean up the shit.

sorree if i'm being a little abstract tonite, but i need to kick myself. no one ever kicks me anyway. pple encourage, but some kicking can help.

hahah.. anyway tonite, i think i'm gonna process some of my sydney photos.. i saw some keepers the other time when i went thru them briefly...

Haven't been blogging for a while...

Not sure why, guess got nothing much to say. Aussie pics are in cold storage, i probably won't have time to do them at all, i can't believe it, it's 7th month and i am busy!!! hmm.. it's a good problem to have i guess.

anywayz, not feeling very wordy tonite, so here's some pics i'm particularly proud of shot a few days ago:

they are in no particular order, and are clickable:

Anastasia Ho!

Yeahhh my neice...

and yeahhhh i FINALLY managed to get online... kaozzzzz

anywayz... here we are, she is so beautiful!











managed to walk around sydney city and took some pics.. but i guess i'll process them another time.. see u guys back in sg soon! =)

pre Australia...

4 hours to my flight.

I really hate travelling alone. no, i don't mean being bored on the plane either. i just sleep until the crew wakes me up. yeah.. sometimes when the plane lands i'm still sleeping. i'm blessed that way....

anyway, yes i hate travelling alone. it kinda epitomises the lonliness.

and i feel like i can't get away. maybe it's the last few weeks of stress, leaves me feeling like i've forgotten something, it's like, there's no way i managed to get so much done in that time, there's SOMETHING i forgot lor. but 4 hours to my flight, i don't think i can fix that now, even if i do remember.

packed my camera, not hoping to get any great shots but i'm sure i will. not being proud here, but that's what i do, if i can't take great photos, i'm in the wrong trade. although, if my mood doesn't pick up, i'm not sure i can live by that statement "i take great photos."

or maybe BECAUSE of that statement, i better get in the mood. bah.

not sure if the service apartment booked has internet access, if it does then i'll update with pics. there won't be excuse of not having enough time, i think i'll have SO MUCH time there it's not funny. as i mentioned i wanna try writing.. let's see lor.

now i'm thinking should i bother shooting in RAW. i think no need lar. i have all the time in the world to get my setting right, wat for need RAW? 10mb file vs 2mb file.. ok nvm, i'll decide when i get there.

i guess i'll catch a couple of hours sleep then adrian's coming to pick me to the airport. good man.

next post from me, it's gonna be "G'Day Mate!" as the greeting....

Unker jOhO

yeah.. really unker liow.

Faith gave birth to baby Anastasia (did i get that spelling right??) over an hour ago.. so congrats to Ben and Faith!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anastasia Ho... hehehe.. i like it!!! lovely name.

wonder what her chinese name is? she better have one, even tho she's born angmoh.. or at least in an angmoh country.

long live asia!! er.. i mean anastasia... grr.. ok back to photos.

can anyone guess how much angpow i'm gonna give them? please quote in AUD.

i'm quite happy leh... ahhaha..

p/s for those still blur... Ben is my (REAL) brother!! just in case lar anyone dunno larrr...

*skips around the cot*

I am dying...

the title says it all.

Drove on the wrong side of the road...

yeah.. correct, no not being figurative. i'm serious, literally. was leaving the merc service centre after the shoot, shack, and many things on my mind, and the traffic junction was bent in such a way that to go straight (as in follow the right direction of the road) i had to veer to the left, but i just kept straight and before i could react, i was either on the wrong side of the road, or on the road divider. so i chose the wrong side... as they say, sitting on the fence is an indication of lack of character!!!

anyway quickly, i made a "right u turn" into a left turn meant for the correct direction. nvm if you are confused, but there were no cars and i reacted fast enuff to prevent making it to the papers.

before anyone asks, no, it's not personal, the thoughts on my mind. it's just work. there's too many things to remember and do, and there's standards to keep.

so i hear many concerned friends of mine saying, good, at least u're gonna take a break to australia.

it's BECAUSE of the australia trip that i'm stressing my ass off. aiyah i don't want this to be a complain post, but generally, i just got stuff to clear and it needs to be done asap whether or not i'm going to australia.

and no surprises, tix still are NOT booked yet. i lead a very well-planned life. hey, i did say i need a wife, i did forget to say however, that i need a well-organised wife. well, who's making lists of virtues anyway, right?

alrite, here's the damage. 2 more shoots before i go (nothing major, but it's still a shoot), 2 collage albums to layout, get approved, print and deliver, another 2 collage albums pending approval from couples then print and deliver, and another 3 4R slot in albums to print and deliver (raws converted). pena side, don't say lar i have no idea but it's not gonna be simple and slack.

if i dun have to sleep at all, i can complete them all. hahah.. wat a consolation.

on another note, watched pirates just now with adrian and wendy. i didn't really enjoy it probably becos i was tired, and yes, u've heard it b4, alot of things on my mind. ar well, johnny depp is still good. =)

ok back to photos...

Xiaxue is selling pixels!

ok this time can really buy 4D liow, i actually opened a post just for another blogger, and i'm not a blogger-surfer cos i just don't have the time (or i spend too much time in clubsnap...)

ANYWAY...

yeah man, Xiaxue is selling pixels!! 10x10 pixel "ad space" (i wouldn't even call it space, more like "spot") for $100 ($1 per pixel) and i think now as i'm typing, it's on 50% discount! ahhahaha..

ok if u can't figure out whether i think she's stupid, or smart... here's the verdict.. SMART! seriously, i think this is a great move on her part and anyway she's a self-declared full-time blogger, so if she doesn't make money from her blog she eat what? as for her choice of career, well, of all people i shouldn't be the one to bag pple that takes chances.

ok going on, u will REALLY buy 4d when u hear this.

i actually thot of buying a spot!!!! ahhahaha

so i was thinking, which site should i put? my blog, or my wedding website. then i went further, i dun really care if anyone reads this blog or not, so no point spending the money on this blog, then as for my wedding photography site, the demographics say something like 16-25yo are the main readers of her blog, and like it or not, these pple are too young to get married. so no point rite? so end up i haven't signed up for those 10 (or more) pixels lor.

another thing, although getting more hits to my wedding website is generally good, i don't want to bastardise the brand. generally speaking, i'm aiming at a niche group of customers, not saying that xiaxue's readers can't afford the rates, don't appreciate the photographs, but generally, the advertising dollar could be better spent more prudently. and goodness.. it's only 10x10 pixels!! if i bought something decent like 100x100 pixels i'll be looking at $10,000 for six months (before discount) and that's exorbitant!!

so.. that was a good 5 mins of reading her entry, and another 5 mins of writing this post, a good break from the TONNES of photos i still have to process.

Shooting a corporate event tomorrow, not a bad payout, and definitely good to add in my "list of past clients".

Cycle & Carriage - Mercedes open house at their new showroom at Pandan Loop.

You think i'll get to ride in an SL65 AMG? mauahah.. i dun think they even have that car in singapore....

ok back to the photos.. i dun have much time left, wide awake, but i better sleep soon if not i won't be able to wake up for the shoot.. even if it's at noon time.

Rudely woken up...

by an upset stomach.

Slept at midnight (yes, very early, go buy 4D) and just got rudely woken up by my stomach to go visit the loo. So decided to blog, haven't updated for a while.

My schedule is full of work related stuff. I'm not entirely "busy", well nothing compared to last month anyway, but there's still plenty of stuff to clear up, especially since it HAS to be done before i get to australia first thing in august.

I've been telling most that i'd be bored in australia. it's not that i don't find my family interesting, but i guess no matter how i try to deny/avoid/act blur, the reason is because i'd be going alone. for some reason, when i see/hear/smell something wonderful while travelling, enjoying it alone isn't my cup of tea. i'll have my camera with me, but i'd drop that for someone who can snuggle up to me and say "i'm so glad to be here with you".

which reminds me, i have the intention to write when i'm there since i foresee plenty of time doing nothing, however i'd love a laptop with more than 15 mins batt life (now u know how long my lappy lasts without juice from the wall) so i can type my stories out. technology pampers. i guess it's good ol' pen and paper for me. see how lar. i have that Two Worlds story to complete, if anyone remembers and have read my blog long enough. if anyone wonders, the story draws certain reference to Jean. memories of interactions with her are still pretty fresh in my mind, let's see if they can be personified by my pen among the chilly winds of sydney harbour.

another "scattered thoughts" post. i need to sleep after this. i dun see a need to stay up feeling like shit (physically and emotionally).

things i will do when i get to australia:

have long half hour showers with extremely hot water.

yes seriously, that was not a joke. i spent a GREAT DEAL of time under the shower during winter in the years i spent in australia, just standing there, thinking. i plan my life in the shower. i get eurekas as to what i should do with my life. i feel more than physically refreshed after a hot shower in winter.

try having a half hour HOT shower in singapore. u'll come out feeling you don't wanna live anymore. does that mean i haven't been planning my life for the last few years i have been here. hmm intersting. maybe....

just the other day i was talking to Pat, about how "God provides". He does... this is an awfully quiet month as it's approaching 7th month, which i am glad, as it gives me time to recover from the utter madness of june, and incidentally, Pena decided to open 4 new couters holding two new brands. so it kinda works out, but no matter how you put it, quiet months, with no or little shoots can never be TOTALLY good, and so what happens, God throws a couple of jobs to me just to tide me over. Simple, easy and hassle free, with a decent payout. Nothing too artistic required, what we call "shoot for money" rather than "shoot for the love of life" but hey, there is plenty of need for such a service. but i digress. i thank God for his providence.

While i'm thanking God, i'd like to thank a few people too (it's good to count your blessings when you're feeling F'ed up):

Adrian and Wendy for always including me in their life, see you Sunday for that movie!

Shervon for always staying in touch and diligently looking out for good airfares for me!

PC for being a great (ex) boss and friend, despite occasional outbursts (rarely now), really does understand my priorities, very caring and gives good advice too.

My parents for their enthusiasm in my trip to australia. mama can't wait, while daddy actually emailed me to say that if i really cannot get away from work, i shouldn't force myself (men understand work comes first). well, i can get away from work, as i intend to do it all b4 the time comes, but maybe not as enthused because of the above mentioned reason but there's no way in my life i can miss my brother having his first child, and my dad turning 60! what sort of sinner would i be to miss those??? and i do need that break lar, whether i want it or not.

Feow for staying in touch and inviting me out and playing "match maker", she's so cute! hmm haven't heard from her for about a week? i better drop her an sms now..

Valerie for making me happy, passively.

Rosy for thinking so highly of me, I can't wait to meet you!

Jas for her recent entry about me, wahhhh so honoured~~~~!~ bleah...

Pat for being so easy to talk to, who has a strength that even i'd admire, in a girl.

Mark for always being so open and inviting, i especially remember coincidentally meeting you and terene while pat and i were looking for dinner, and you invited us to join you and after that spent some time at your place, your hospitality is first class, even at a moment's notice.

ok... u know what, i feel like i've left alot of pple out.. if i remember i'll continue.

sleep i must.

Charby celebrates 100 shoots

And i was there!

Was pretty fun except that the photographer to model ratio sucked. And too many girls already, towards the end I was like... are we done yet???

Am quite happy with a few shots only tho.. as usual lar.. shoot so many only very few can make it. Today's conditions weren't great at all, but well, no excuse.

images are clickable.

No mood

to blog recently.. dunno why also.. nothing to post i guess.

workload is slowly and steadily getting better, mainly most of the images for the weddings are processed, just the collage albums that take a long time. not really a long TIME, more like it takes time for inspiration and creativity to come to me! ahahha..

went for (yet) another bikini shoot yesterday. i dunno if i'm shooting worse, or my standard for myself is higher, but when i was going thru the shots from yesterday, so many of them "failed" in some way. end up i only had very very few keepers. oh well.. here's some of them: