I don't believe I'm doing this!

Last Dream: I never remember my dreams, if any.
Last Kiss: 20 mins ago
Last Person You Kissed: baby
Last Missing Library Book: huh? can eat one anot?
Last Movie Seen: The longest yard - on DVD
Last Book Read: huh? can eat one anot?
Last Drank: OJ
Last Food Consumed: jiang cong zhu rou fan
Last Phonecall: to Adrian telling him how I vomitted today becos no time to eat.
Last TV Show Watched: America's Next Top Model. ARGH...
Last Item Bought: SLIK 340DX for my brother.
Last Time Showered: 1pm today.
Last Shoes Worn: Hush Puppies "unker slippers" (no idea what they are called)
Last MP3 Downloaded: Say NO to piracy!!!!
Last Soda Drank: Coke Light
Last Thing Written: Some nonsensical post in ClubSNAP
Last Key Used: wtf? is F sharp a key?
Last Trip To The Bathroom: 10 mins ago
Last Sleep: 11am to 1pm
Last Sms: Customer telling me no prob that I'll be late for our appointment.
Last Time Amused: When I went back to previous work place today and saw my ex-boss trip over cartons of merchandise.
Last Time Hugged: knn lar, hug kiss fuck and suck all within last hour lar!! happy?!?!
Last Chair Sat In: oh.. i don't sit in chairs, i use them to beat the shit out of next door's cat.
Last Shirt Worn: Brown T from thailand.
Last Final Paper Taken: CO352 Finance B
Last Poster Looked At: do i look like the type to remember shit like that?

Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
- snorting
- procrastinating
- not stopping for certain motorists and getting out of the car and punching the shit out of them (oh, sorree that should be under "good habits")
- smoking!

Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
- D2X
- AFD 105/2 DC
- Dual processor PC with the wroks, no macs please!!!
- Home studio

Name Four Scents You Love:
- 5 cents
- 10 cents
- 20 cents
- 50 cents

Name Four Turn-Ons:
- eye-contact
- staying just out of reach
- skirts
- the right sound at the right time

Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
- nose ring
- wig
- dress
- crotchless panties

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
- crotchless panties
- wat DVD to watch tonite?
- should I light up a ciggy?
- i dropped my phone just now!!!!!

Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
- coke light
- oj
- crysanthemum tea
- coffee

Last song you sang? probably from li shen jie
Last time you said 'i love you' and meant it? let's not go there.
Last time you cried? iirc, 20 Nov 2001 - around there
What's in your ipod mini? let you know when i get one
What's under your bed? parquet floor
What time did you wake up today? 1pm
Current clothes? boxers
Current longing? money!
Current worry? money!
Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? the whole thing lar? i can't imagine say.. her eyes served to me on a platter. don't forget the doiley.
Favorite place to be? Home
You could play an instrument? I could yes, thanx for asking, as if i'm dead. (could is in the past tense you piece of crap!)
Favorite color? red?
How tall are you? 174cm
One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Phoebe, my sunday school love interest when I was 6!
What is your career going to be like? Rewarding and fulfilling.
How many kids do you want? The question is how many kids want a father like me!?
Favorite car? Attainable: Golf GTI, Not So Attainable: BMW M3
Identify some of the things surrounding your computer: house phone, hand phone, ciggarettes, calculator, ash tray, car keys, seiko watch, multicard reader, misc CDs of photos, BT headset, tissue box, D2Hs batt charger, LTA summon, pen, crotchless panties.
If you were stranded on a desert island what would you bring? Cyanide
What is the worst movie you have ever seen? Harry Potter series!!! yes, stone me. NOW!
If you could go to one place for a free vacation where would you go? Italy? Greece?
How many times have you been kicked out of class? Zero
Do you wear a watch? Yes.
How many times a day do you wash your hair? One.
Do you have a good sense of humor? Only in the presence of crotchless panties.
What is one thing you can't do? There's so many hello! ok... how about, fly a plane?
Do you like where you live? Yes.
Your hair/eye color? Brown/Brown.
Do you think you're smart? Yes.
What is your best subject? One that strips
What color of clothes do you like to wear the most? Red.
Do you have dreams or nightmares more often? Neither.
What is your favorite restaurant? Jimmy's On The Mall, Brisbane!! mauahhahah.. oh my god....
What is the most common saying you say? I'm tired.
Do you like to wear jewelry? No.
What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Chocolate.
Are you superstitious? No.
Do you snore when you sleep? As certain as the clouds in the sky, and the sand on the beach.
Do you talk in your sleep? As above.

December : the month for weddings.

I'm fainting from the shoots this month, and it's hardly over.

If I had to conclude one thing about being to so many weddings, it would be this: It is NOTHING like what I want a marriage to be.

Sounds negative? Not so.

A wedding isn't about a couple specifically. Not the ones I shoot anyway. It is about the CELEBRATION of a couple that is getting married. It involves ALOT of people, and if the wedding tonight is anything to go by, the amount of people is 500. 50 tables. And the celebration is, well, for one day, for 498 of them anyway.

As for the remaining two, the celebration is for more than just one day, and it's certainly more than celebration. If I'm starting to sound like I know all about marriage, then I will say now that I wouldn't have a clue, except that I have an ideal, and it's my blog to write anything I want, as long as the press doesn't come in and see that I've been defaming the government.

May be a long-winded way of saying that age-old phrase "A wedding lasts a day, but a marriage lasts a lifetime".

But now, I wanna talk about photography, lest some of you start thinking I'm feeling like it's time to get married. When I shoot nowadays, I aim for the quality of photos I can produce. I have been pushing myself for better images. I won't start to define what "better images" mean, but suffice to say, they take more effort to get. I am doing this because it is a challenge and it betters my portfolio and hence credibility and/or potential income since I shoot weddings for a living.

Then suddenly I wonder, why is the betterment of my skill overshadowing the passion that once was; the passion of "recording" love in my images? I believe it is simply because I do not see "love" at weddings. Weddings are about a few hundred people celebrating. The love goes on for days, months, years after the celebration is over, or at least we hope it does, but I'm not there to capture that. So out the window goes the notion of "I want to capture love". More aptly, it should be, "I want to capture the moments of the celebration of love".

So what happens if I still want to capture love? I mean, we shouldn't give up so easily right? Cannot do it one way, gotta try another way?

The only way I can capture love, is not through my camera, but through my heart.

It was, and will always be, that simple.

To all my couples and friends getting married, I hope you celebrate for many many many years. Everyday being together is a celebration only the two of you share.

The Piano

Was reminded of something I wrote a few years ago at a wedding today, where there was a pianist playing the grand piano...



The Fan

Looking at my fan spinning in a blur I realised that I am going through life like one.

Looking beyond the piece of machinery that attempts to cool me down with debatable results is a view through my window from the tenth story. A view of the concrete jungle that defines Singapore.

What caught my eye though, is a figure of the human female along the street. The morning sun rendered a translucent image of her figure through her skirt that fluttered in the cool morning breeze. Ah, she's home. My love, my life, that's her.

Nevermind that she had just alighted from a Beemer that belongs to her boyfriend. Nevermind that just moments before I spotted her, they were in the car planning the next rendezvous. At least she has come home to me, albeit with only her body; her heart belongs elsewhere.

She avoided my eyes as she walked past me at the front door. Just as well, my tears were impossible to hide. "Good morning", she managed, as she proceeded to the bedroom to prepare to lie on the bed I had just made. Maybe she'd like some hot chocolate, I wonder silently.

I put on my shoes, took a deep breath, and went to work.

The train is a little crowded tonight, I thought to myself on the way home. No, it's not the train. It's my thoughts. It's so crowded that it's blurred. I immediately remembered my fan. Well at least there's one thing it's good for.

I opened the front door while undoing my tie. She bought this tie for me. It's my favourite tie. Why is it my favourite tie? Because she bought it for me. Ah. The door is open. Might as well go in. Maybe I'll start counting the tiles on the floor instead of introspecting.

I have always loved listening to the piano. She has always loved playing it. For me. After counting the third tile I realised the living room was filled with her piano playing. With each melodious note my heart quivered with anticipation. Was it my imagination again?

The baby grand hadn't been touched for what seemed like years. Actually it was only yesterday. What a long day I've had.

Indeed, she was playing with all the grace and charm that would put angels to shame. She glanced over her shoulder as I laid my briefcase on the floor below our wedding photo. I refused to look at the photo just like I would refuse a blunt, serrated knife stabbing my heart.

I took my place next to her on the piano chair. She was wearing an old, tattered oversized t-shirt of mine, and nothing else. The stretched collar managed to fall off her left shoulder and revealed her collarbone sensuously. Her hair was in a beautifully messy tied back sort of way. A thick strand of hair had come loose and covered her face in a way that accentuated her flawless facial features.

Tentatively, I tucked that strand of hair behind her ear, and she turned instinctively. I backed off, but she smiled. Her eyes met mine for the first time that week, and like a single sunflower in an open grass field I saw in them her heart. It was here. That couldn't be, it wasn't there that morning.

Her heart spoke to me through her eyes. No words, just the sweet melodies from the baby grand through her delicate fingers. It was then I realised: she still loves me.

That night I turned and faced my fan again. At least it knows the purpose for its existence...

*~~~*

Somehow reading back, i feel it's not well written. and if anyone's wondering, it's fictitious. i was never married.