I don't believe I'm doing this!

Last Dream: I never remember my dreams, if any.
Last Kiss: 20 mins ago
Last Person You Kissed: baby
Last Missing Library Book: huh? can eat one anot?
Last Movie Seen: The longest yard - on DVD
Last Book Read: huh? can eat one anot?
Last Drank: OJ
Last Food Consumed: jiang cong zhu rou fan
Last Phonecall: to Adrian telling him how I vomitted today becos no time to eat.
Last TV Show Watched: America's Next Top Model. ARGH...
Last Item Bought: SLIK 340DX for my brother.
Last Time Showered: 1pm today.
Last Shoes Worn: Hush Puppies "unker slippers" (no idea what they are called)
Last MP3 Downloaded: Say NO to piracy!!!!
Last Soda Drank: Coke Light
Last Thing Written: Some nonsensical post in ClubSNAP
Last Key Used: wtf? is F sharp a key?
Last Trip To The Bathroom: 10 mins ago
Last Sleep: 11am to 1pm
Last Sms: Customer telling me no prob that I'll be late for our appointment.
Last Time Amused: When I went back to previous work place today and saw my ex-boss trip over cartons of merchandise.
Last Time Hugged: knn lar, hug kiss fuck and suck all within last hour lar!! happy?!?!
Last Chair Sat In: oh.. i don't sit in chairs, i use them to beat the shit out of next door's cat.
Last Shirt Worn: Brown T from thailand.
Last Final Paper Taken: CO352 Finance B
Last Poster Looked At: do i look like the type to remember shit like that?

Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
- snorting
- procrastinating
- not stopping for certain motorists and getting out of the car and punching the shit out of them (oh, sorree that should be under "good habits")
- smoking!

Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
- D2X
- AFD 105/2 DC
- Dual processor PC with the wroks, no macs please!!!
- Home studio

Name Four Scents You Love:
- 5 cents
- 10 cents
- 20 cents
- 50 cents

Name Four Turn-Ons:
- eye-contact
- staying just out of reach
- skirts
- the right sound at the right time

Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
- nose ring
- wig
- dress
- crotchless panties

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
- crotchless panties
- wat DVD to watch tonite?
- should I light up a ciggy?
- i dropped my phone just now!!!!!

Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
- coke light
- oj
- crysanthemum tea
- coffee

Last song you sang? probably from li shen jie
Last time you said 'i love you' and meant it? let's not go there.
Last time you cried? iirc, 20 Nov 2001 - around there
What's in your ipod mini? let you know when i get one
What's under your bed? parquet floor
What time did you wake up today? 1pm
Current clothes? boxers
Current longing? money!
Current worry? money!
Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? the whole thing lar? i can't imagine say.. her eyes served to me on a platter. don't forget the doiley.
Favorite place to be? Home
You could play an instrument? I could yes, thanx for asking, as if i'm dead. (could is in the past tense you piece of crap!)
Favorite color? red?
How tall are you? 174cm
One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Phoebe, my sunday school love interest when I was 6!
What is your career going to be like? Rewarding and fulfilling.
How many kids do you want? The question is how many kids want a father like me!?
Favorite car? Attainable: Golf GTI, Not So Attainable: BMW M3
Identify some of the things surrounding your computer: house phone, hand phone, ciggarettes, calculator, ash tray, car keys, seiko watch, multicard reader, misc CDs of photos, BT headset, tissue box, D2Hs batt charger, LTA summon, pen, crotchless panties.
If you were stranded on a desert island what would you bring? Cyanide
What is the worst movie you have ever seen? Harry Potter series!!! yes, stone me. NOW!
If you could go to one place for a free vacation where would you go? Italy? Greece?
How many times have you been kicked out of class? Zero
Do you wear a watch? Yes.
How many times a day do you wash your hair? One.
Do you have a good sense of humor? Only in the presence of crotchless panties.
What is one thing you can't do? There's so many hello! ok... how about, fly a plane?
Do you like where you live? Yes.
Your hair/eye color? Brown/Brown.
Do you think you're smart? Yes.
What is your best subject? One that strips
What color of clothes do you like to wear the most? Red.
Do you have dreams or nightmares more often? Neither.
What is your favorite restaurant? Jimmy's On The Mall, Brisbane!! mauahhahah.. oh my god....
What is the most common saying you say? I'm tired.
Do you like to wear jewelry? No.
What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Chocolate.
Are you superstitious? No.
Do you snore when you sleep? As certain as the clouds in the sky, and the sand on the beach.
Do you talk in your sleep? As above.

December : the month for weddings.

I'm fainting from the shoots this month, and it's hardly over.

If I had to conclude one thing about being to so many weddings, it would be this: It is NOTHING like what I want a marriage to be.

Sounds negative? Not so.

A wedding isn't about a couple specifically. Not the ones I shoot anyway. It is about the CELEBRATION of a couple that is getting married. It involves ALOT of people, and if the wedding tonight is anything to go by, the amount of people is 500. 50 tables. And the celebration is, well, for one day, for 498 of them anyway.

As for the remaining two, the celebration is for more than just one day, and it's certainly more than celebration. If I'm starting to sound like I know all about marriage, then I will say now that I wouldn't have a clue, except that I have an ideal, and it's my blog to write anything I want, as long as the press doesn't come in and see that I've been defaming the government.

May be a long-winded way of saying that age-old phrase "A wedding lasts a day, but a marriage lasts a lifetime".

But now, I wanna talk about photography, lest some of you start thinking I'm feeling like it's time to get married. When I shoot nowadays, I aim for the quality of photos I can produce. I have been pushing myself for better images. I won't start to define what "better images" mean, but suffice to say, they take more effort to get. I am doing this because it is a challenge and it betters my portfolio and hence credibility and/or potential income since I shoot weddings for a living.

Then suddenly I wonder, why is the betterment of my skill overshadowing the passion that once was; the passion of "recording" love in my images? I believe it is simply because I do not see "love" at weddings. Weddings are about a few hundred people celebrating. The love goes on for days, months, years after the celebration is over, or at least we hope it does, but I'm not there to capture that. So out the window goes the notion of "I want to capture love". More aptly, it should be, "I want to capture the moments of the celebration of love".

So what happens if I still want to capture love? I mean, we shouldn't give up so easily right? Cannot do it one way, gotta try another way?

The only way I can capture love, is not through my camera, but through my heart.

It was, and will always be, that simple.

To all my couples and friends getting married, I hope you celebrate for many many many years. Everyday being together is a celebration only the two of you share.

The Piano

Was reminded of something I wrote a few years ago at a wedding today, where there was a pianist playing the grand piano...



The Fan

Looking at my fan spinning in a blur I realised that I am going through life like one.

Looking beyond the piece of machinery that attempts to cool me down with debatable results is a view through my window from the tenth story. A view of the concrete jungle that defines Singapore.

What caught my eye though, is a figure of the human female along the street. The morning sun rendered a translucent image of her figure through her skirt that fluttered in the cool morning breeze. Ah, she's home. My love, my life, that's her.

Nevermind that she had just alighted from a Beemer that belongs to her boyfriend. Nevermind that just moments before I spotted her, they were in the car planning the next rendezvous. At least she has come home to me, albeit with only her body; her heart belongs elsewhere.

She avoided my eyes as she walked past me at the front door. Just as well, my tears were impossible to hide. "Good morning", she managed, as she proceeded to the bedroom to prepare to lie on the bed I had just made. Maybe she'd like some hot chocolate, I wonder silently.

I put on my shoes, took a deep breath, and went to work.

The train is a little crowded tonight, I thought to myself on the way home. No, it's not the train. It's my thoughts. It's so crowded that it's blurred. I immediately remembered my fan. Well at least there's one thing it's good for.

I opened the front door while undoing my tie. She bought this tie for me. It's my favourite tie. Why is it my favourite tie? Because she bought it for me. Ah. The door is open. Might as well go in. Maybe I'll start counting the tiles on the floor instead of introspecting.

I have always loved listening to the piano. She has always loved playing it. For me. After counting the third tile I realised the living room was filled with her piano playing. With each melodious note my heart quivered with anticipation. Was it my imagination again?

The baby grand hadn't been touched for what seemed like years. Actually it was only yesterday. What a long day I've had.

Indeed, she was playing with all the grace and charm that would put angels to shame. She glanced over her shoulder as I laid my briefcase on the floor below our wedding photo. I refused to look at the photo just like I would refuse a blunt, serrated knife stabbing my heart.

I took my place next to her on the piano chair. She was wearing an old, tattered oversized t-shirt of mine, and nothing else. The stretched collar managed to fall off her left shoulder and revealed her collarbone sensuously. Her hair was in a beautifully messy tied back sort of way. A thick strand of hair had come loose and covered her face in a way that accentuated her flawless facial features.

Tentatively, I tucked that strand of hair behind her ear, and she turned instinctively. I backed off, but she smiled. Her eyes met mine for the first time that week, and like a single sunflower in an open grass field I saw in them her heart. It was here. That couldn't be, it wasn't there that morning.

Her heart spoke to me through her eyes. No words, just the sweet melodies from the baby grand through her delicate fingers. It was then I realised: she still loves me.

That night I turned and faced my fan again. At least it knows the purpose for its existence...

*~~~*

Somehow reading back, i feel it's not well written. and if anyone's wondering, it's fictitious. i was never married.

Long time no see...

How have you been?

As if I'm talking to a real person like that...

it's 7am, and i should really be sleeping. but i just thot i might add a new post to this neglected blog.

what shall i talk about? i don't really have to "report" on my activities, it more or less on baby's blog already, she does such a good job!

i think i shall write about... uncertainty.

Let's define it. http://dictionary.reference.com says:

un·cer·tain·ty ( P )
n. pl. un·cer·tain·ties
1. The condition of being uncertain; doubt.
2. Something uncertain: the uncertainties of modern life.
3. Statistics. The estimated amount or percentage by which an observed or calculated value may differ from the true value.

So, it's a CONDITION? sounds bad. it's also a "thing" (the definition did say "something"). and lastly, it is an amount. u know, like the exhorbitant amount i paid for a car polish package yesterday when all i wanted to do was to get my car washed! ok.. i'm not gonna talk about that.

uncertainty lives in all of us. most of us know it well, so why the heck did i have to define it. i guess it increases the word count of this post.

uncertainty, i realised tonight, repels complacency. or, perhaps it SHOULD. if you are feeling uncertain you SHOULD take some actions to make yourself more certain. and when you take actions, you become UNcomplacent, if there's such a word, or it is an act not becoming of a complacent person, who is contented. so, perhaps i'm more than uncertain. i am uncontented. ok no such word, i know, then let's put it as unsatisfied.

it just sux when uncertainty comes in the middle of the night like 5am, and then i take actions till about 7am, and end it off with a pretty much, useless blog entry.

good luck to me tomorrow, or rather today, or... later.

Just a filler since pple complain no updates

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Renoma vs Gucci

Baby and I both got a new wallet each yesterday, no prizes for guessing who got wat:





(those logos are physically no more than 1cm long)

Just testing out the 50mm reversed for macro shots. bloody vf is too damn dark after f8...

ok not much happening nowadays, doing photos, most cleared, sleeping quite a lot.

boring post lar. go back to fly catching using chopsticks. prob a more interesting activity than reading this!

D2Hs!!!

POTD:



all i can say is: STEAM!!! (not this photo lar, the cam!)

got it today. dun ask how much.

Being regular means you're not pregnant!

Which is good! for now lar... lol. so ok i'll try to be more regular.

I dunno Wendy, sometimes if i don't have anything substantial to say i usually don't. but when i got shit to write... it's some cold hard constipated shit that comes out. more black than brown too, sometimes.

did a studio shoot today all in RAW. had problems getting the RAW files to load in PS CS but got it figured out. don't ask me why, it just didn't work, and after a while it did. like i said one time, i got a female computer, temperamental and will only work after u fuck it hard enuff. ok.. i'm sure i just ruffled a few (female) feathers there, but if u can't figure out that it was in jest, then ruffled ur feathers shall be!

anyway back to the RAW files, they are AWESOME. maybe also becos in controlled lighting with optimum aperture, so the photos are sharp and detailed. prob is, i need to figure out a faster way than loading it into PS one at a time. Looks like I gotta use Bibble, but that didn't load my S3 files either. wtf? i guess it's another case of female temperament, this time a different "female". see wat polygamy does to you? take it from me, men out there, remember the weighing machine: "One at a time, PLEASE!"

after the shoot, played mahjong with the regulars, won money. kena bao DA SAN YUAN by Adrian still can win. hmm maybe i should start my mj career again. right after i master Glendee's "mi ji".

baby, i just hope i can clear all my backlog soon. there's so many things we should do together, but all we've been doing recently is helping me, and doing a great job at that. it's just that i cannot "rest" in peace with such a huge back log on my ass. these couple of days being "recalled" to the office doesn't help, really threw my schedule off. this weekend is gonna be work till the flesh drops off my bones, and then use the bones boil soup, dun forget the ikan bilis. u get the idea.

Desire @ Scarlet is waiting for us, with a free bottle of wine too. *muakZ*

Oh I almost forgot POTD. Who cares if it's 6+ am and i have to be up at 8+...?



ok.. fire away at this image. it won't go down well with 95% of pple that view it. but do i look like i care? =)

for the record, i LOVE this pic. maybe becos i haven't really done something with so much movement from BOTH subject and camera before.. took quite a few shots just to come up with just this good one. so yes, the others were pretty much... like shit.

Eye pain...

The last few days has seen me suffering from "eye trauma" every now and again. it's just twitches, itches and basically irritating me to the highest order.

now whoever is talking about me behind my back, i'm sorry. tell me where u live, and when u'll be home, i'll come over and apologise to you. it'll prob be the last apology u'll ever hear...

ok, here we go, POTD... *muakZ* to u baby!!

Officially an unofficial full time photographer.

How oxymoronic.

Congrats to myself from being released from the clutches of full time employment, to being in the clutches of being poor!

I've still been pretty busy with photos that I owe from September, and just STUFF. my days are filled more or less, and thank goodness for baby, or else I'll be getting calls every few hours cursing me for not being where i'm supposed to be. If there's anyone who's bad at remembering appointments.. it's.. well, not me! (in case my customers are reading this!)

ok lar.. nothing that heartfelt to write. leave you with a photo that, for some reason, baby and i love very much.

POTD:

Balls for earrings!

POTD:



lovely earrings! =)

2 more days to freedom. =)

had a few comments about my pics being lousy from "anonymous"

let's make this clear first: u are entitled to your subjective view, as i am entitled to del your comment if you don't identify yourself.

Third last rotten egg to be smashed to smithereens!

Well, not really. Just three more days of official work.

Actually i'm meant to go to the auditors office to pick up some documents. But i buay ke yan to go so i decided to blog.

Baby had a hard time calling to wake me up again today. I think these few days have been tough. Lack of sleep, coupled with ZERO motivation to get up to go to work (to smell rotten eggs?) makes a good recipe for phone-keep-ringing-but-u-dun-hear-jack-shit syndrome.

Thank you baby for being so patient. I suspect it won't be like this after this month ok?

My boss had a nice chat with me yesterday, saying let's have things end on a good note. Given, my attitude has been LIKE SHIT for at least the last 3 weeks; whether or not that's justifiable as a resignee depends on who's side you're on. Either way, he's still a friend, and of course I'd keep in touch. He even offered for me to come back should things not work out on my end.

I hope he knows that i've never disliked him. He keeps on saying i might think he's a fucked up boss (at which point i would always try unsuccessfully butt in to correct him) but that there would be no need to talk behind each others' backs. ahahhaha the ironic thing is, he does it lor!! as if i dunno like that. but i think that's normal. when something irritates you, u just wanna scratch the hell out of it. some pple do that by bitching. most pple.

right.. i guess i better get moving.

no, not to work. i meant life. oct is coming. time to make some serious movement.

to all my couples that i owe photos to: ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!!!! =P

as if they are reading like that....

POTD? :



My favourite shot of Cheryl (dunno about the earrings tho..) in some part of singapore waters on a speed boat where i knocked my lens against the boat driver several times trying to frame this shot. maybe that's why the boat wasn't that steady... hmm.

OK, this blog's getting freakin' boring...

So, some photos. Recently taken. Quite a siow char boh bride... quite fun working with her.

there were errors...

my blog is having problems..

so i tried to republish, and it says. "There Were Errors".

I See.

How Informative.

At Least You've Got Good Grammar.

ok.. hope this post can clear your "Error"...

9 more days!

9 more working days left.

minus 1 becos i'm taking leave next monday for an ROM shoot.

this morning i did nothing. well, nothing work related anyway. i'm just so OVER it. i dun hate my boss, but i certainly do not want to be here. i'm just waiting for next week to come and there'll be so much shit to clear b4 he "lets me go" so i better relax while i can this week.

my baby's prob still sleeping. hope no one smses or calls her to wake her up prematurely. poor baby already has to wake up early to wake me up, so everyday very tired. =P

*muakZ* to you!!

My weekend... what weekend?

it went by so fast, i felt like it never happened.

shot three couples this weekend, in particular, congratulations to Jaime and Aaron, whom I've know for many years. Many blissful years ahead to you both!!!

i was just mentioning to baby last nite. how often do you get to end your day on 0% battery? i mean yes, most of us have hectic days, and even nights, but how often do you get home totally SPENT? like u eyes are half closed, u dun care if the house's on fire, you don't even wanna go to the toilet becos then u'll have to spend that extra 15 calories to get there, and right now u're already in deficit.

talking about 0% battery, i managed to drain my quantum 2x2 to the end. ZERO. the flash LCD couldn't even come on!

oh ya.. sure, i hear u going, "happens to me all the time". cmon, we get home TIRED, but that don't mean we don't have energy to watch tv, come online, have sex. i'm talking about really NOTHING LEFT lor... curl up and die and make a roast human from the burning house-oven.

after talking so much, i still came home to come online lar. ahhah duhz.

2 more weeks to go b4 i leave this company. whatever the future holds, for now, i just look forward to one thing. sleep.

Mid-Autumn Festival

okok... tomorrow zhong qiu jie, wish everyone moon big big, but ass please, not so big.

anyone got a snow skin, pinkish purplish, wintermelon flavoured with a dash of vodka mooncake for me to photograph so i can post it up here?

well don't look at me like that, that's wat the funky flavours of mooncakes are nowadays!

www.expressivelyjoho.com

Ok, first post.

Hi to my baby!!!! *muakZ* ahahha..

and also, self-advertisement.

go to www.expressivelyjoho.com. Bookmark it. Twice, to make sure. Use BOTH msie and firefox for extra protection.... what from i dunno, just make it up as u read please?

Ok this month i'm too busy to post, just open the account first. See you more often october onwards!