I'm dying... part 2

the title says it all... AGAIN.

i'll try to write a bit more tho...

had a nice unplanned session with mark (he left early) gerry and charles today talking about teaching photography all the way to being a sound man (i guess they are "related" still about "multimedia" in a way). Was just supposed to deliver a CD to him (Mark), then he said he was meeting the guys so i joined in, and 5 hours later, i'm posting in my blog. i always say, u can't really plan life.

altho i do remember one thing mark said two nites back after the Clarin's shoot having dinner. Once you're married and with a family you wouldn't be here. priorities change and you'd probabaly go straight home and have dinner with your family. i agree. the more poignant statement was: your life is not yours anymore, priorities change.

not that i have experienced it, but it's true, and so it should! while initially it feels like you're being robbed of your own life, but i subscribe to the thinking that life isn't complete until you have someone to share it with, and at some stage, offspring from that wonderful relationship. i did frown at that part though, not because i don't wanna have kids, but becos of the society they would grow up in. it would be such a joy having children, but such a frightful task bringing them up. not so much in the physical way, but in this society that is so different from the one i was brought up in. i guess there's no point speculating about it now, i'm sure the time will come for me to have the courage to bring life to this world. in a way, i view today's environment as detrimental to the nurturing of a human being, and the only reason why i am doing well is becos i am already an adult. pessimistic? i dunno, it doesn't matter wat the terminology is, i guess.

and why am i talking about this when it's not a constant thought in my mind? (contrary to my description of this blog : seeking wife, i don't think about it all that much) i don't know, becos the thing that's been constantly on my mind is how i would further my career. in all aspects, business-wise and artistic-wise, but recently it's more on the business wise. a new website is to be up, and as mentioned above, would consider going into teaching since there are real opportunities (basically if i said yes, i would start teaching almost straight away that kind of thing, if you're wondering what, photography lar, what else?!?!). plenty of projects to embark on, culminating in a new website for a more commercial approach to photography, leading to income generated to fund a studio in 2008. Rosey is coming soon (i hope!!!) and will be looking forward to working with her with numerous fashion/people type shoots. weddings will be on-going, shooting less with higher rates; i am trying to find ways to get myself shooting overseas for weddings, and i MAY start travelling to experience (and shoot) cultures different to my own. one problem there, i hate travelling alone, so i'm not sure how that'll work.

so many things to do, so little time, energy. i'm glad tho, there will be a neverending list of projects, improvements, refinements to do, and this i believe is due to passion and dedication. these nouns only existed in my life not too many years ago. it feels great to have a purpose, but not so great to not be able to fulfill them because of inadequacy. laziness, poor planning, lack of foresight, etc.

so much for dying, still can tok so much cock.

on an ending note:

MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM!!!!

man i almost died when i heard it. hurt myself pretty badly too.