Hindrances.

There has been something that, I only recently realised, has been a hindrance to my (photography) work. It's not about equipment, quality of images, lack of subjects, lack of inspiration or serendipity (can you lack serendipity?? - one of my fav words of late), or just plain being lazy.

It's something which I seem to need to do regularly, which I don't want to do, but i still do it, and I always remember telling anyone that confides in me, that the most beautiful thing about being human is, we have the ability to make choices to make things better. I truly believe in that. Heck, even animals make choices to make things better for themselves. But I'm not Nat Geo on cable so I'll stop with the animals. So, for now, I am doing something that's against my wishes.

I feel the hardest choices to make are those that affect people other than yourself. If a choice you make doesn't affect anyone but you, even if it's wrong, you suffer, it's ok. But if it affects others, that choice just seems so hard to make, especially when the people that can be affected are so close to you. Then upon further thought, you start to QUESTION the value of such people. it almost becomes as if, you have to choose between the happiness, adequacy even, of either yours, or the other party or parties. It becomes a "should I be selfish" or "should I be selfless" question.

I have to rid myself of such hindrances while trying not to hurt, offend or inconvenience the ones I love, value or respect. I have no idea where to start. Whatever's in my mind now, I doubt that it's possible to resolve it such that everyone's happy. Such is life.