CNY - lowdown again!

Here we go, the CNY post where I, again, miss the festivities of family gossip, aunties bitching, uncles bragging, cousins flirting, and babies screaming. yu sheng as appetizer, steam boat as main course and bak kua as dessert. (shit, where does the pineapple tarts come in? gotta refine the menu liow...)

BUT! I don't miss my childhood days as much because I had the pleasure of knowing Adrian and his family. I'm touched and even though this is not spoken but I am very happy that they have "accepted" me in their family for this chinese new year for reunion dinner. Even adrian's father that seldom speaks much (not to me anyway) managed a few one-liners here and there, enjoyed our brief conversations! Aunty was great, preparing all day for dinner, and I ate like a king. Wonderful family. Wonderful brother i have!

I remember him saying to me, between brothers, there are "no thank yous, and no sorrys". Yes bro I remember you saying that. But still, thanks are in order, it always is, and it won't hurt to say it once in a while. Of course, we never ever want to say "sorry". so far so good. Thank you bro!

Family ties are kinda wierd. Family are always around, and you kinda assume they'll always be around, and some families hope that some members will go soon! ahaha.. but end up.. during CNY, they all come together. They eat, they wish each other prosperity and peace. I want to wish my family too, but as most of you would know, i'm a little physically far from them, the closest being my "lok yee" which i will visit tomorrow, as per yearly tradition.

As for mama and daddy, well, they hardly celebrate CNY now. even when i was still in australia, it was never a special occasion. i guess the festivities are not so happening there, but i do remember going to the temple on chu xi (yes there are chinese temples in australia) as a uni student to go and BEO CHAR BOH!! it was fun, drive all the way there (was about 45 mins drive) just to see girls from all over brisbane go there offering to the gods with their parents... ahhaha.

Another person to thank for making me feel a sense of belonging is Jean. thank you for listening to me all night, and i just remembered, who's supposed to be giving who tuition!?? ahhaha.. seldom student talk more than teacher one leh.. what's wrong with you!

anyway, here's you with a peaceful moment. it was a peaceful moment behind the viewfinder too.

POTD:



You asked me a difficult question to answer last nite. I said I'll get back to you on that. I promise I will. You have a difficult situation to handle too, and perhaps i would not be involved except to listen if you talk about it. Enjoy your angpow collection these two days!

Happy CNY to all!

Interesting days...

CNY coming... Wasn't it just the other day I was referring back to my post from last CNY? damn.. time passes fast even when you're not having fun!

These few days have been interesting. I'm not a person who gets too personal on public blogs, opinions on your neighbour's dog's fleas will be given openly but I've always felt that there is no need to publicise every single activity in my life, for a couple of reasons, you don't really give a shit, and well, the repercussions of having strangers reading about your life (if they manage to get past the previous point) aren't too desirable.

ANYWAY~

Yeah, just been an interesting past few days. Thank you for making me smile. My eyes haven't done any communicating for a long time. =)

Adrian and Wendy are back today. Come back only talk about the honeymoon, where's my woman?!?! So cruel, happily in love and I'm like suffering in loneliness. Nevermind, mai kong boh, my share of happiness in this life LEND you all first.. just like my left testicle bro. hahahahha....

POTD, not taken with any of my cams. Should I say it? ahhah ok i will, it's not the camera that matters, but the one behind it, and i guess in this case, certainly the one in front of it!



Enjoying her enjoying her mango spider. Thank you for the company, and other things.

The lack of sleep brings new meaning to being high...

Everyone's asking me why I'm so tired, after all I shoot weddings often, how come Adrian and Wendy's wedding so shack?

Well their wedding wasn't shack, it was really enjoyable actually! But I had another wedding to shoot the day before, and the day before that I didn't sleep. Then after that was "post wedding" errands, and to top it off, I spent all night mounting photos for a customer that I was already late in delivery.

Do you care? not really, no. so i'll talk about something more important.

CONGRATULATIONS to my bro, Adrian, and my new sis-in-law, Wendy! well, not by blood, but definitely by choice, we are definitely related.

I should have given a more lengthy speech that night, but I thought a wedding wouldn't turn out great if the guests fell asleep. So i'll do it here, you can fall asleep at the keyboard and wake up with pretty squares all over your cheeks if you want, good way to hide the fats for a day I suppose.

Adrian & Wendy,

This day was bound to happen. From day one, your lives were enriched by each others' existence, it was obvious. I think you both are truly fortunate to have each other, and someone to complete each others' lives. I feel truly happy for you both, and I certainly look forward to when I can share such joy that you both have now.

As mentioned in the days pre and post wedding, things are not so much different now that you're married. You both enjoy each other, still see each other alot, live together, and now i guess, have Ady as your "child". However, there is now a certain future to look forward to together. There always was a future together for the both of you, but this time, you both have taken a big step in reaching out to that future together. Isn't it exciting? To know that no matter what happens, there is one thing for sure, that the future will be carved out together. I feel there's such a sense of peace and joy in that knowledge. The worst can happen to you, but you know you will always be there for each other. That in itself makes life worth living, makes the coffee sweet, the roses pink (since that's your favourite colour, Wendy!), and even a simple meal at AMK St 61 kopitiam could feel fit for a king! (Hint to Wendy!! Cook it up!!).

After all the good that I've said, don't you feel bad that I AM SUFFERING IN SINGLEHOOD?!?!?!?!?! Now that you both have each other, I think it's only fair that you help me find my partner!!

So yes, basically that was a guilt trip speech.. wonder if it worked!! Hahahhaa..

You know, Shervon already did it well one time, and I STILL thank her for her deed, even tho well, i guess things didn't turn out quite the way i never knew i wanted (those that know, know wtf i'm talking about), but wat the heck, it just means you both have to try harder for me. Shervon ran out of "ammo" liow. She also quite zhi shen nan bao i think!

Hope you both are enjoying your honeymoon. May the rest of your life be a honeymoon that never loses its sweetness, nor its roughness...!

Get with it lar: honey = sweet, moon = full of craters!

See you in a few days, lovebirds!!

Bad bad bad....

Woke up at 1pm today. WAH LAU!!

ok i guess i should be sleeping now, it's almost 2am.. but.. i have so much to do!! being the procrastinating me, I did 2 out of the ten pages of collage I have to get delivered by tomrorow, which means i have to finish 8 tonite, or tomorrow morning (or a combination) and get them printed. and i have an appt smack bang at 12pm at science park, dunno how sia....

do you all REALLY wanna hear me whine? =P

ok.. what was i procrastinating with? My wedding photography website. I now have a link to (so far) two "albums" of wedding couples. Previously, pple viewing my site wouldn't have access to these albums from the site, i would have to give them the direct url, but now it's there for all to click. you should to!

how now? edit photos or go sleep?

wat a bloody boring post, with no POTD somemore... cmon... send me some hate mail.

It's gonna be tough today...

Yes, for the third day in a row, i'm up at a "godly" hour. today was 7am. but the problem is i didn't have a fitful sleep..

6am started sneezing a few times, got up to blow my nose, then lie back down, toss around, got up, went to piss, came back, got up again, drank some water, then stared at ceiling, until 7am (at least can see some light from the window) then too bored, got up and on the computer.

now...? i feel sleepy again! people like just got to the office, getting a coffee, booting up computer, ready for a GREAT MONDAY and what have i got here? oh.. the trials and tribulations of a formerly "unglodly hour sleeper"....

i need your well-wishes and support. toss a 5c coin in bt timah long kang and make a wish on my behalf.

no POTD lar.. boh eng lar! trying to keep awake!!!

Past my bedtime!

It's 1230am!! oh no!!! *horror* past my bedtime!!!!

okok after this quickie i'll be going to bed.

met chris ling today, opened my eyes and i will be actioning out in the next few weeks. adrian and wendy's album also arrived today. The colour shifted a little but otherwise it was BEWDEEFOOL!!!! man.. i love my work. sorree lar, my blog, where else can i be ego???

wat else? oh got a lovely sms from wendy (another one!) from hongkong. she's so sentimental that girl, usually pple sms once in a while asking "how are you?" and stuff. this time no, first sms, short sharp and to the point "Dear Jon, will u come to visit me antime soon?" and this is WORD FOR WORD. i guess i will see what i can do wendy. we go back a long way. her story is LONG.. and i don't have energy to type her story here, and quite honestly, it's a past that she wants to forget. no, she's not my ex, she's my best fren's (then) ex. and well basically, i'm not sure if you've heard of devestated girlfriends turning to their boyfriend's best friend for comfort, but this is one such case, and hers was extremely dramatic. those were the days. ok, hongkong, i need to get there soon!

ok damn this post getting too long.. SLEEP i need SLEEP!!

no POTD today... wait for tomorrow..

H-Hour - 8am

Well, 9 hours of sleep, not bad! Even thought it wasn't my usual uninterrupted sleep, it was still pretty good, and now I have a whole day ahead of me.

It seems I have so much more time now when I sleep at normal hours. I can still wake up, want to have BREAKFAST (omg that word is alien to me!), then can still go online and blog???? What the hell is happening.

Who knows, when cable comes in next week, I'll be able to turn on CNN and see what's happening with George Bush. Then again, what's on the news nowadays? OK, will let you know next week. hahahah

Still not feeling 100%. As I mentioned to Roy last nite on msn, i'm in a "general state of unwell" for the last few weeks. It's irritating above anything else.

Hmm seems like I'm blogging mindlessly.. ok lar, once in a while forgive me. Let's see what else is on my mind, it's pretty active for 8am on Sunday morning, I'll give you that.

Brandon's membership card design is irritating me. well, not the design, but the need to get a design approved by him and his colleagues. *sigh* that's the reason why i quit design ages ago. photos, u shoot it right, pple like it or not, it's like that, there's no re-shoot. i'm more a "once-and-done" person, (this termed affectionly coined to describe how the customer service phone calls at SCB call centre should be handled) rather then hemming and hawing over it for mins/hours/days/months/years...?

talk about this one and done thing, a (not so much now) friend of mine once suggested that the best career for me would be an A&E doctor. Of course besides the paper work, the core duties of an A&E doctor would be to IMMEDIATELY stabilise the patient and then send him off for further treatment. Pretty much sums up the "one and done" in me, but no thanx, 7 years medicine, plus dunno how many more years specialising... which is the opposite.. spend 10 years, i will die lor.

another thought on my mind is the O2 atom. Yesterday i seemed to have reception problems on my hp6365... should i spend the $1k+ on a phone? at least i know i will use the phone fully, but still, does it justify $1k+? i mean if it was a 105DC/2 then different lar.. but a phone?? altho it has a 2mp camera.. actually i am interested in the speaker phone capabilities... as well as the voice dial thru BT.

ok here's a pic of it (not taken by me)... you beauty!!! (It's clickable)



You know what.. i just got a silly thought: I'll get the phone, so that I can shoot it as my portfolio for commercial product photography.. ahahha.. everything links back to photos... sad...

right.. i'm done here.. one of the rare mindless posts from me. should be more to come lar, seeing as i'm hoping to have more time on my hands now by simple virtue of being able to sleep normal hours! will be trying me hardest. =)

To better sleep cycles!

Slept at 1130pm last night, woke up at 6am. Now... i'm sleepy already so that's good, sleep by 11pm again.. STEADY!

was gonna do another POTD and have two POTDs in one day, but the damn thumbnails from CD is taking too long to load, i'm thinking copy the whole CD onto hdd faster man.. so decided screw it.. tomorrow morning wake up 6am do lor.

actually.. it's loaded!! ok good i can select the photo that i thought of. i don't believe i still remember what i shot years ago.. well, at least the ones that i liked. it seems, photography runs thru my blood. that's a good thing i guess.

want to dedicate this photo to someone who i think reads my blog, and she should ask me if it's her becos i don't think she knows. she's someone i need tuition from! major clue there.. ahahahahha

POTD:



taken in sydney, 2003.

no idea what flower this is, but it was in the wild, something that could not survive without freedom. love how it looks transluscent with the sun shining on it. kinda depicts a beauty which, given the right kind of light, reveals even more beauty than it normally holds, when approached from the right direction at the right time....

Regular updates?

I wonder if I should regularly update this blog, even tho i have nothing particular to say. at least it keeps pple coming back to read? ahahah.. i never believed in that shit...

anyway... this blog is meant for me to post POTDs but i guses i've not been too successful. i guess now, even if i don't write, at least i'll post a photo. and it's about time i revisited the old photos i took, reprocess them again and see how far i've come. so perhaps, it's time to dig into those dusty archived CDs (which, yes, i just found in the store room last nite!)

so... here's one more from my hay days; POTD:



Click on image for a larger one.

Picked a random CD from my archives and came up with this one, taken during one of my holidays in Sydney in 2003 (i think!) with James M.

I don't think he reads my blog, we've been out of touch for a while; but mate, if you are, thanx for bringing me around that day!

I have a new son, his name is Cough.

Yeah man.. oh such jubilation!!! He's about a month old, and very temperamental, in the morning when I wake up he is usually still sleepy, not very active, towards the afternoon, comes disturb me here and there, but i'm busy you see, so he'll go do his own thing, then at night he is REALLY active.. it's like, he comes up to me, WHACKS me suddenly, and goes on regularly for a few hours, leaving me breathless. What a monkey!!!!

ok Cough, I tell you, you either kill me, or leave me. Don't leave me in limbo, ai mai ai mai, you are a man, not a woman, act like one, be decisive!!!

bastard....

(women reading this, don't be concerned or upset, i'm just trying to tame a young juvenile...)

POTD: (geting to be more like a "Picture of the Month"...)



Taken many years ago in Thailand with my camera, then a Coolpix 5700. I've loved this photo through the years. It's time to revisit the "roots" when i started photography, it's like a cycle.. Time to evaluate (which is usually the last step), and start a new one.

Untitled

While this is still fresh in my mind:

When your life is fucked up, what you need to do is have this vision of yourself in time, turning back, saying "FUCK YOU!!!!!" to those people, and feel damn good about how far you've come.

"Those" people, well... actually, just one person really.. is YOURSELF. I'm looking forward scolding the old me in time when the new me has lifted off. What about you?

It's 2006. I'm thirty this year. It's kinda scary. Just starting off a career, no stable relationship. Family is away, friends are busy. Camera starting to cock up. Yeah damn 17-35 aperture blades decided to get stuck today while shooting the yum seng party. Nicely done. Lucky it happened on the third yum seng, already got the shots i needed. So much for a 3k pro lens.

My thoughts are sporadic.

Today, I made ANOTHER ex girlfriend. She, like all the others, loved me whole-heartedly. She was a great part of my life whom I'm sad to let go. But the part of my life that I truly need filled has remained void through this time. And therefore the logical reason was to let go since I don't see that void being filled by her in future. Already said my piece to her and that's all anyone needs to know.

I can't sleep, and I've been awake for 36 hours, and still wide awake. Anyone who knows me, knows i do NOT have a "can't sleep" problem.

Something is wrong with me and I need to get it fixed. The first step would be the doctor. Coughing for 2 weeks doesn't seem normal. But smoking a pack a day does. See how fucked up a world I live in?

I'll continue another time lar. Sux writing like this. I keep typing and backspacing. It's not me at all.

I remember saying one thing in a blog PF and I shared:

"...I'm glad my ability to express through the written word hasn't waned. If anything were to be taken from me, please not let it be my ability to express myself, in whatever form available to me."

http://fluffykisses.blogspot.com/2005/02/cny-lowdown.html

Seems like I'm having more problems than I thought.

I don't believe I'm doing this!

Last Dream: I never remember my dreams, if any.
Last Kiss: 20 mins ago
Last Person You Kissed: baby
Last Missing Library Book: huh? can eat one anot?
Last Movie Seen: The longest yard - on DVD
Last Book Read: huh? can eat one anot?
Last Drank: OJ
Last Food Consumed: jiang cong zhu rou fan
Last Phonecall: to Adrian telling him how I vomitted today becos no time to eat.
Last TV Show Watched: America's Next Top Model. ARGH...
Last Item Bought: SLIK 340DX for my brother.
Last Time Showered: 1pm today.
Last Shoes Worn: Hush Puppies "unker slippers" (no idea what they are called)
Last MP3 Downloaded: Say NO to piracy!!!!
Last Soda Drank: Coke Light
Last Thing Written: Some nonsensical post in ClubSNAP
Last Key Used: wtf? is F sharp a key?
Last Trip To The Bathroom: 10 mins ago
Last Sleep: 11am to 1pm
Last Sms: Customer telling me no prob that I'll be late for our appointment.
Last Time Amused: When I went back to previous work place today and saw my ex-boss trip over cartons of merchandise.
Last Time Hugged: knn lar, hug kiss fuck and suck all within last hour lar!! happy?!?!
Last Chair Sat In: oh.. i don't sit in chairs, i use them to beat the shit out of next door's cat.
Last Shirt Worn: Brown T from thailand.
Last Final Paper Taken: CO352 Finance B
Last Poster Looked At: do i look like the type to remember shit like that?

Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
- snorting
- procrastinating
- not stopping for certain motorists and getting out of the car and punching the shit out of them (oh, sorree that should be under "good habits")
- smoking!

Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
- D2X
- AFD 105/2 DC
- Dual processor PC with the wroks, no macs please!!!
- Home studio

Name Four Scents You Love:
- 5 cents
- 10 cents
- 20 cents
- 50 cents

Name Four Turn-Ons:
- eye-contact
- staying just out of reach
- skirts
- the right sound at the right time

Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
- nose ring
- wig
- dress
- crotchless panties

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
- crotchless panties
- wat DVD to watch tonite?
- should I light up a ciggy?
- i dropped my phone just now!!!!!

Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
- coke light
- oj
- crysanthemum tea
- coffee

Last song you sang? probably from li shen jie
Last time you said 'i love you' and meant it? let's not go there.
Last time you cried? iirc, 20 Nov 2001 - around there
What's in your ipod mini? let you know when i get one
What's under your bed? parquet floor
What time did you wake up today? 1pm
Current clothes? boxers
Current longing? money!
Current worry? money!
Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? the whole thing lar? i can't imagine say.. her eyes served to me on a platter. don't forget the doiley.
Favorite place to be? Home
You could play an instrument? I could yes, thanx for asking, as if i'm dead. (could is in the past tense you piece of crap!)
Favorite color? red?
How tall are you? 174cm
One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Phoebe, my sunday school love interest when I was 6!
What is your career going to be like? Rewarding and fulfilling.
How many kids do you want? The question is how many kids want a father like me!?
Favorite car? Attainable: Golf GTI, Not So Attainable: BMW M3
Identify some of the things surrounding your computer: house phone, hand phone, ciggarettes, calculator, ash tray, car keys, seiko watch, multicard reader, misc CDs of photos, BT headset, tissue box, D2Hs batt charger, LTA summon, pen, crotchless panties.
If you were stranded on a desert island what would you bring? Cyanide
What is the worst movie you have ever seen? Harry Potter series!!! yes, stone me. NOW!
If you could go to one place for a free vacation where would you go? Italy? Greece?
How many times have you been kicked out of class? Zero
Do you wear a watch? Yes.
How many times a day do you wash your hair? One.
Do you have a good sense of humor? Only in the presence of crotchless panties.
What is one thing you can't do? There's so many hello! ok... how about, fly a plane?
Do you like where you live? Yes.
Your hair/eye color? Brown/Brown.
Do you think you're smart? Yes.
What is your best subject? One that strips
What color of clothes do you like to wear the most? Red.
Do you have dreams or nightmares more often? Neither.
What is your favorite restaurant? Jimmy's On The Mall, Brisbane!! mauahhahah.. oh my god....
What is the most common saying you say? I'm tired.
Do you like to wear jewelry? No.
What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Chocolate.
Are you superstitious? No.
Do you snore when you sleep? As certain as the clouds in the sky, and the sand on the beach.
Do you talk in your sleep? As above.

December : the month for weddings.

I'm fainting from the shoots this month, and it's hardly over.

If I had to conclude one thing about being to so many weddings, it would be this: It is NOTHING like what I want a marriage to be.

Sounds negative? Not so.

A wedding isn't about a couple specifically. Not the ones I shoot anyway. It is about the CELEBRATION of a couple that is getting married. It involves ALOT of people, and if the wedding tonight is anything to go by, the amount of people is 500. 50 tables. And the celebration is, well, for one day, for 498 of them anyway.

As for the remaining two, the celebration is for more than just one day, and it's certainly more than celebration. If I'm starting to sound like I know all about marriage, then I will say now that I wouldn't have a clue, except that I have an ideal, and it's my blog to write anything I want, as long as the press doesn't come in and see that I've been defaming the government.

May be a long-winded way of saying that age-old phrase "A wedding lasts a day, but a marriage lasts a lifetime".

But now, I wanna talk about photography, lest some of you start thinking I'm feeling like it's time to get married. When I shoot nowadays, I aim for the quality of photos I can produce. I have been pushing myself for better images. I won't start to define what "better images" mean, but suffice to say, they take more effort to get. I am doing this because it is a challenge and it betters my portfolio and hence credibility and/or potential income since I shoot weddings for a living.

Then suddenly I wonder, why is the betterment of my skill overshadowing the passion that once was; the passion of "recording" love in my images? I believe it is simply because I do not see "love" at weddings. Weddings are about a few hundred people celebrating. The love goes on for days, months, years after the celebration is over, or at least we hope it does, but I'm not there to capture that. So out the window goes the notion of "I want to capture love". More aptly, it should be, "I want to capture the moments of the celebration of love".

So what happens if I still want to capture love? I mean, we shouldn't give up so easily right? Cannot do it one way, gotta try another way?

The only way I can capture love, is not through my camera, but through my heart.

It was, and will always be, that simple.

To all my couples and friends getting married, I hope you celebrate for many many many years. Everyday being together is a celebration only the two of you share.

The Piano

Was reminded of something I wrote a few years ago at a wedding today, where there was a pianist playing the grand piano...



The Fan

Looking at my fan spinning in a blur I realised that I am going through life like one.

Looking beyond the piece of machinery that attempts to cool me down with debatable results is a view through my window from the tenth story. A view of the concrete jungle that defines Singapore.

What caught my eye though, is a figure of the human female along the street. The morning sun rendered a translucent image of her figure through her skirt that fluttered in the cool morning breeze. Ah, she's home. My love, my life, that's her.

Nevermind that she had just alighted from a Beemer that belongs to her boyfriend. Nevermind that just moments before I spotted her, they were in the car planning the next rendezvous. At least she has come home to me, albeit with only her body; her heart belongs elsewhere.

She avoided my eyes as she walked past me at the front door. Just as well, my tears were impossible to hide. "Good morning", she managed, as she proceeded to the bedroom to prepare to lie on the bed I had just made. Maybe she'd like some hot chocolate, I wonder silently.

I put on my shoes, took a deep breath, and went to work.

The train is a little crowded tonight, I thought to myself on the way home. No, it's not the train. It's my thoughts. It's so crowded that it's blurred. I immediately remembered my fan. Well at least there's one thing it's good for.

I opened the front door while undoing my tie. She bought this tie for me. It's my favourite tie. Why is it my favourite tie? Because she bought it for me. Ah. The door is open. Might as well go in. Maybe I'll start counting the tiles on the floor instead of introspecting.

I have always loved listening to the piano. She has always loved playing it. For me. After counting the third tile I realised the living room was filled with her piano playing. With each melodious note my heart quivered with anticipation. Was it my imagination again?

The baby grand hadn't been touched for what seemed like years. Actually it was only yesterday. What a long day I've had.

Indeed, she was playing with all the grace and charm that would put angels to shame. She glanced over her shoulder as I laid my briefcase on the floor below our wedding photo. I refused to look at the photo just like I would refuse a blunt, serrated knife stabbing my heart.

I took my place next to her on the piano chair. She was wearing an old, tattered oversized t-shirt of mine, and nothing else. The stretched collar managed to fall off her left shoulder and revealed her collarbone sensuously. Her hair was in a beautifully messy tied back sort of way. A thick strand of hair had come loose and covered her face in a way that accentuated her flawless facial features.

Tentatively, I tucked that strand of hair behind her ear, and she turned instinctively. I backed off, but she smiled. Her eyes met mine for the first time that week, and like a single sunflower in an open grass field I saw in them her heart. It was here. That couldn't be, it wasn't there that morning.

Her heart spoke to me through her eyes. No words, just the sweet melodies from the baby grand through her delicate fingers. It was then I realised: she still loves me.

That night I turned and faced my fan again. At least it knows the purpose for its existence...

*~~~*

Somehow reading back, i feel it's not well written. and if anyone's wondering, it's fictitious. i was never married.

Long time no see...

How have you been?

As if I'm talking to a real person like that...

it's 7am, and i should really be sleeping. but i just thot i might add a new post to this neglected blog.

what shall i talk about? i don't really have to "report" on my activities, it more or less on baby's blog already, she does such a good job!

i think i shall write about... uncertainty.

Let's define it. http://dictionary.reference.com says:

un·cer·tain·ty ( P )
n. pl. un·cer·tain·ties
1. The condition of being uncertain; doubt.
2. Something uncertain: the uncertainties of modern life.
3. Statistics. The estimated amount or percentage by which an observed or calculated value may differ from the true value.

So, it's a CONDITION? sounds bad. it's also a "thing" (the definition did say "something"). and lastly, it is an amount. u know, like the exhorbitant amount i paid for a car polish package yesterday when all i wanted to do was to get my car washed! ok.. i'm not gonna talk about that.

uncertainty lives in all of us. most of us know it well, so why the heck did i have to define it. i guess it increases the word count of this post.

uncertainty, i realised tonight, repels complacency. or, perhaps it SHOULD. if you are feeling uncertain you SHOULD take some actions to make yourself more certain. and when you take actions, you become UNcomplacent, if there's such a word, or it is an act not becoming of a complacent person, who is contented. so, perhaps i'm more than uncertain. i am uncontented. ok no such word, i know, then let's put it as unsatisfied.

it just sux when uncertainty comes in the middle of the night like 5am, and then i take actions till about 7am, and end it off with a pretty much, useless blog entry.

good luck to me tomorrow, or rather today, or... later.

Just a filler since pple complain no updates

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Renoma vs Gucci

Baby and I both got a new wallet each yesterday, no prizes for guessing who got wat:





(those logos are physically no more than 1cm long)

Just testing out the 50mm reversed for macro shots. bloody vf is too damn dark after f8...

ok not much happening nowadays, doing photos, most cleared, sleeping quite a lot.

boring post lar. go back to fly catching using chopsticks. prob a more interesting activity than reading this!

D2Hs!!!

POTD:



all i can say is: STEAM!!! (not this photo lar, the cam!)

got it today. dun ask how much.

Being regular means you're not pregnant!

Which is good! for now lar... lol. so ok i'll try to be more regular.

I dunno Wendy, sometimes if i don't have anything substantial to say i usually don't. but when i got shit to write... it's some cold hard constipated shit that comes out. more black than brown too, sometimes.

did a studio shoot today all in RAW. had problems getting the RAW files to load in PS CS but got it figured out. don't ask me why, it just didn't work, and after a while it did. like i said one time, i got a female computer, temperamental and will only work after u fuck it hard enuff. ok.. i'm sure i just ruffled a few (female) feathers there, but if u can't figure out that it was in jest, then ruffled ur feathers shall be!

anyway back to the RAW files, they are AWESOME. maybe also becos in controlled lighting with optimum aperture, so the photos are sharp and detailed. prob is, i need to figure out a faster way than loading it into PS one at a time. Looks like I gotta use Bibble, but that didn't load my S3 files either. wtf? i guess it's another case of female temperament, this time a different "female". see wat polygamy does to you? take it from me, men out there, remember the weighing machine: "One at a time, PLEASE!"

after the shoot, played mahjong with the regulars, won money. kena bao DA SAN YUAN by Adrian still can win. hmm maybe i should start my mj career again. right after i master Glendee's "mi ji".

baby, i just hope i can clear all my backlog soon. there's so many things we should do together, but all we've been doing recently is helping me, and doing a great job at that. it's just that i cannot "rest" in peace with such a huge back log on my ass. these couple of days being "recalled" to the office doesn't help, really threw my schedule off. this weekend is gonna be work till the flesh drops off my bones, and then use the bones boil soup, dun forget the ikan bilis. u get the idea.

Desire @ Scarlet is waiting for us, with a free bottle of wine too. *muakZ*

Oh I almost forgot POTD. Who cares if it's 6+ am and i have to be up at 8+...?



ok.. fire away at this image. it won't go down well with 95% of pple that view it. but do i look like i care? =)

for the record, i LOVE this pic. maybe becos i haven't really done something with so much movement from BOTH subject and camera before.. took quite a few shots just to come up with just this good one. so yes, the others were pretty much... like shit.

Eye pain...

The last few days has seen me suffering from "eye trauma" every now and again. it's just twitches, itches and basically irritating me to the highest order.

now whoever is talking about me behind my back, i'm sorry. tell me where u live, and when u'll be home, i'll come over and apologise to you. it'll prob be the last apology u'll ever hear...

ok, here we go, POTD... *muakZ* to u baby!!